And the world spins.

My ideal family was mom, dad, 4 kids (2 boys, 2 girls). I had my ideal family.  Even numbers.  We even had a male dog and a female cat to keep it equal.

Then the desire for another baby began. Yes we wanted another. No we didn't.  Back and forth. We had perfect numbers.  All of them are healthy, why risk it.  I was just starting to come to grips with Johnny being my last baby, when we found out we were pregnant with ToriBeth.

Ahhhhh! An almost perfect pregnancy! Despite having to do multiple insulin shots a day.

Then I began to worry.  Why was it so easy?  I knew this had to be my last baby.  I was getting older, my health was getting worse.  The worry over me and the worry over potential complications to the baby from my diabetes made that decision for us.  But still, why was it all so easy? Except labor, but that is a different issue!

Then she was born and she was perfect.  But still I waited for the other shoe to drop.  I very deeply felt that this was all too perfect.  I watched over her vigilantly.  I worried about her hearing.  She was doing great and developing right on target.  But that unease was still there. What was it?  Why could I not just accept all was good and move on?

ToriBeth is still a wonderful baby.  She's funny and engaging and people just flock to her.  And she is perfectly healthy. 

I feel bad that I was waiting for something to happen.  But there is a reason behind mother's intuition.

Only I was focusing on the wrong child.

I can't really say I missed the signs.  Because the bruises weren't really anything when you have an active little boy.  The 1st bruises I took Johnny to the doctor for was when he was barely (if even) walking.  There was 1 on his tailbone area that the doctor diagnosed as a mongolian spot.  The other was on his ribs.  She said it just looked like he fell on a toy or something.  All the times he fell and hit his head I never took him in.  And they were pretty ugly.  I just figured they were bumps.  And he always seemed to have a bump.  There was also the time he fell out of a kitchen chair and hit his elbow.  It swelled up and looked horrible.  We had it x-rayed looking for a break or bone infection.

In all honesty, I knew there was a chance he had hemophilia.  It is passed on the X-gene.  My dad has it.  I grew up around it.  I just never put any of this together until I sit and really just think.  I asked to have Johnny tested a year ago, before he went to school.  His doctor didn't see any need.  Figured we would have known by then.

But early this summer, Johnny started getting some rather large and unexplained bruises at his joints, mainly his knees.  They would just show up.  He would have no idea what caused them.  I finally took him back to the doctor and she ran some tests.  His factor VIII came back off and she referred us off to a blood doctor.  Still thinking it was something else, but she wanted to be 100% sure.

We have met with the pediatric hematologist and had more blood drawn and we go back in 2 more weeks.  This feels like an eternity.  I will feel better when we have an official diagnosis and a plan in place.  And some literature to be able to give to his teacher and the school nurse who have never even heard of it, let alone know how to deal with an iccident. 

Funny thing, Johnny has always loved baseball.  It is his passion.  He watched every single game of the semi and finals of the World Series last year.  He has a huge collection of baseball cards.  His most prized possessions are his autographed Brandon Weeden baseball and his 2nd place trophy from a tee-ball tournament......oh and maybe his San Francisco Giants jersey and hat......and we can't forget his glove either.  His older brother, Eric, has always played football.  But Johnny has never really ever shown an interest.  Now I guess that is a good thing since football would be completely out of the question.  We can make baseball work, but football is full contact.

Currently, his arms and shins are just speckled in bruises.  I noticed one on his hip and another on his thigh.  These all look minor and non-concerning.

But you know what?  The world keeps spinning.  I have always been protective of Johnny.  Maybe because I am older.  Maybe because he has always seemed more accident prone.  Maybe because of all of his ear infections or his breathing issues.  Or maybe....because I thought he was the last for so long.  Either way, this just makes us stronger and more educated.

Beef and Broccoli "on the fly"

"On the fly" - meaning something I did quick so I could get food in my kids and send them off to bed. (OK, well if you really know my kids, especially the youngest boy, you would know the concept of sending him to bed is almost laughable.) 

Yesterday, Mark was gone preparing for hunting season.  Usually when he does this he gets home super super late and will have grabbed something to eat before he got home.  My oldest son was gone to work and the oldest daughter was over at a friend's house.  That left me wondering what to feed the 3 youngest and myself for dinner.  As you know, young children are not overly needy of a gourmet meal.  And honestly, they could care less if it was balanced or had any fruits or veggies at all.

I did talk to Mark on his trip home and realized he was going to be home much earlier than usual.  Now I am starting to "feel real bad, bad llama".  I have no plans for dinner.  He did save me when he said he wasn't very hungry and would just eat a salad. But I was still having some issues on what to feed the littles.  One year olds aren't crazy about salads.  And I don't care how good of an eater the 5 year old is, he's not crazy about eating just a salad for dinner either.

Ahhhhhh! Daddy noodles aka Ramen noodles in the rest of society.  Those small little packages of cheap, overly salted processed food, that graces the plate of almost every college student or young adult just starting out.

My younger kids love these things.  And they're cheap.  But, hello? I can't just feed my kids these for dinner and call it good.  I had some major Mommy guilt going on with that concept.  As I was breaking up the noodles and putting them in a bowl to microwave them (I am going all out here. In all truthfulness though, I didn't even know you COULD cook them in a microwave until my much younger brother taught me several years ago), I had a light bulb moment.

A week or so ago, I had caught a few moments of one of my favorite cooking shows Mad Hungry. She had one of her sons on the show with her and he was adding stuff to his ramen noodle "sauce".  You can find his recipe here: http://www.marthastewart.com/349053/ramen-noodle-upgrade.  I didn't see but a few seconds of the show, but I did see him add peanut butter.

I start digging through the fridge and freezer to see how I can transform the simple package of noodles.  I am also a fan of Chopped, so I took this as a challenge to see what I could do.  I found some broccoli florets in the freezer and some roast beef deli meat in the fridge.  Hmmmmm? Could I? Would it taste ok?

Beef and Broccoli "on the fly"

1 pkg beef ramen noodles

1/2 cup cut up deli roast beef (leftover roast beef could be used as well)

1 cup broccoli florets, cooked (roughly chopped if using florets)

1 tsp peanut butter

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/4-1/2 tsp ground ginger

1 tsp soy sauce (add more to taste)

bean sprouts, optional

lime wedges, optional

chili paste or sirachi sauce, optional

Cook the ramen noodles according to package directions.  (In my house that would be in a bowl, add enough water to almost cover and then cook in the microwave for 3 minutes.  Let stand for 2-3 minutes.) Do not drain.  Add seasoning packet and stir in. Add the peanut butter, garlic, ginger, and soy sauce to the ramen noodles. Stir. Gently toss in the broccoli and meat.  Put in individual serving bowls.  Top with bean sprouts, a squeeze of fresh lime, and/or some chili paste or sirachi sauce if you choose.  Serves 2-3

Not exactly the best choice for a dinner, but it was an improvement over plain ramen noodles.  And the kids devoured it.  When I made more for me to eat, I had to use turkey meat so I used a chicken flavored one.  I don't think it was AS good as the one I made for the kids, but it wasn't too bad.  Even Mark was impressed.

And so this season begins.

I am a hunting widow.  As you can tell by the title of my blog.  My husband is a hunter.  He hunts deer. We eat deer.  He hunts turkey.  We eat turkey.  He hunts duck. We eat chicken.  He hunts geese.  We eat more chicken.  I just need to clarify.  I have nothing against eating ducks and geese.  But just because he hunts them, doesn't mean he shoots them.  Someday.  Right now he is still learning those.

See he hasn't always been a hunter.  When I met my hubby all those many many years ago, I would classify him as a prep.  Ask my family.  They will all agree.  It would be interesting to get my cousin's (who is 100% country born and bred) opinion on my hubby when they first met.  I took Mark to my family's Thanksgiving, I guess it was the 2nd or 3rd year we were married.  He was dressed in a nice button down shirt, ironed jeans, and dress shoes.  He sat on the couch looking absolutely terrified.

A few years later we go back.  This time he ditched the dress shoes and put on his tennis shoes and he no longer had ironed jeans (I only iron out of neccesity).  This was the 1st time he met my cousin Jacinda who came in all muddy with a stringer of fish.  He did venture out of the house this time with my step-dad, Lloyd, to go look for someone's deer that they shot and couldn't track.  Any guesses what happened on this trek? He tore his good jeans climbing over a barb wire fence.  I will say it was all down hill from there.  But it did take a few more years for the transformation to be complete from city boy to redneck.

The next step wouldn't take place until he got on the fire department and met a good friend who is an avid hunter.  This friend invited him to go shopping for guns.  He also happened to be single.  They always say hindsight is 20/20.  I don't know if I would change the course that this took had I known then what I know now.

This created the person my husband has become.  Now he has deer stands and blinds, feeders, cameras, targets, etc.  He is getting the most out of his experience.  Today he left to go set up his feeders on my cousin's land.  He is really excited.  The newspaper had an article that stated that the deer will be really attracted to corn feeders this year because of our excessive heat and drought.  He has big plans for the season. Plus my oldest hunts, and my oldest daughter will get her hunter safety this year so she can hunt as well.  (Uh oh - I better watch that, it might be his excuse to buy another gun!!)  I wonder how much deer meat my freezer will hold?

I cook the meat and my husband hangs the trophies on the wall.  It's a fair trade.  Right?

October 1st is the opening of archery deer season.  That is his goal, to final take one down with his bow.  I wish him luck!!!

Cupcakes and cookies

The sisters' visit was survived.

As was the turning 16 of my oldest.

As was his birthday party. 

But the prep work for his party was crazy.  Smoking, cooking, baking.  Felt like it went on for days.  I had no idea how many people to expect.  He had invited a bunch of friends, mostly football players.  I had invited people to come help celebrate our survival of 16 years of parenthood.  Plus the obligatory family members.

Eric had requested a smoked brisket and pulled pork and potato salad.  Last minute, he asked for devilled eggs.  But the baking was my choice.

I made rootbeer cupcakes, butterscotch cupcakes, and chocolate and butterscotch chip with bacon cookies.  I topped the rootbeer cupcakes with rootbeer barrel candies.  The butterscotch cupcakes were topped with a butterscotch candy.

There was of course way too much food, but Eric seemed to have a good time and that was all that mattered.

3 years until the next 16th birthday party.  That one will be in May so it won't be so miserably hot.