Sneak Peak

A month or so ago, I wrote about my husband going and setting up his feeders and cameras to get prepared for deer season.  In this part of the country, deer archery season opens October 1st.  There will be many hunting widows that will either be looking forward to or dreading this weekend.

For me, I look forward to deer season.  But maybe that is because it's fall.  And it means cooler weather, Halloween, crunching leaves, football, and family time.

A couple of weeks ago, the hubby went up and copied the pictures off of his trail cameras.

I want to share some of them.  If he has his way, one or more of these big bucks will be gracing my living room walls in the future.

We have nicknamed this little guy Hollywood.  He makes several appearance in the pictures, both daytime and nighttime.  He is awfully cute and super interested in the camera.





My oldest daughter, Ashleigh, will be going and taking her Hunter's Safety Course this weekend.  She is looking forward to officially being able to hunt with dad this year.  I hope she knows that if she shoots one, she has to clean it.  Don't know if dad broke that news to her yet.

Since my freezer is getting rather empty, I am sure glad hunting season starts tomorrow. 

Good luck to all the hunter's this season.  I wish you well in your treks and journeys as you seek your prey.  Be careful and take the appropriate safety measures as well.

To all my fellow hunting widows, I hope you have awesome adventures and activities planned for yourself and/or your children.  That's what I do.  It helps to keep us all sane!!

Bring on the Bubblewrap

I am having a strange time coming to grips with Johnny's hemophilia diagnosis.  It doesn't change who he is or that he is my little boy forever, but it changes the way I watch him play.

I have 2 boys.  My oldest is 16.  I always had the laid back approach to parenting him.  At the park, I would stand back and let him run and climb and jump and slide.  I would only help him if he needed help.  I didn't hover.  Eric was never really the dare devil type though.  He didn't climbed trees too often.  He didn't stand on the kitchen counters.  He didn't do balance beam acts on the back of the bleachers at the ball field.  He did like to climb up on our tractor shed, but nothing else too dangerous.

Johnny has been all boy since his feet hit the floor.  He climbed everything.  He jumped off of everything.  He hit his head on everything.  And then he would look like this.

Only this one is mild compared to some of the others. 

Of course we never took him to the doctor for any of these.  He's a boy.  He's supposed to be banged up.  He's healthy and active.  He gets a good hit on the head at least once or twice a year.

But now I know, he probably should have gone into the doctor for these.  Only the pediatrician is not the one we would have needed to see.  She would have told me pretty much what we were already thinking.

Here comes the guilt...

All these things that have happened to him in his 5 years of life

• slipping on the bleachers and biting both sides of tongue (it bled for 3 months before it finally healed)
• falling off the bleachers (multiple times)
• getting hit in the head with a ceiling fan
• landing head first on a linoleum floor
• biting through his lower lip

All of these should have landed us in the ER, or at least a trip to the Hemophilia Treatment Center.  Looking back now and knowing this makes me feel a bit sick to my stomach.  I am glad that something really bad didn't happen.

But now that I KNOW, I just want to wrap my little boy in bubble wrap and keep him safe.

He was officially diagnosed with mild hemophilia A, which is a factor 8 (VIII) deficiency, about 3 weeks ago.  Hemophilia is a rare genetic bleeding/clotting disorder.  So that means his blood is slower to clot.  He doesn't bleed more or faster, but he does bleed longer.  Cuts and scrapes are really no biggie, but deep muscle bruises, head injuries, broken bones, etc need to be treated.

The day AFTER he was diagnosed, I found him standing in the window of my van.  The window was down and he had his feet in the window and he was leaning against the top part of the door (it was closed).  Get DOWN child!  You are killing me.  Later that same night, I found him on the next to top rail of the bleachers at the high school football game, leaning over them cheering.  Since then, he has repeatedly climbed over the chain link fence, scaled the picket fence, walked on the tables in the parish hall after church, stands on the back of the toilet, on the kitchen counter tops, on the bathroom counter, he has cut himself with an exacto knife, I found him making lemonade out of real lemons ALONE (including cutting them all up), using the top seat of the bleachers as a balancing beam.  I am sure there are more things that he has done that luckily I have not seen or witnessed. 

Have I mentioned the boy is only 5. 

Is the need for bubblewrap now apparent?

I am really struggling to find the balance of just letting him be and keeping him safe.

I know I didn't start this blog to be a medical journey, but I am going to add another tab on the top to keep all these in one easy to find place.  Ok well that is as soon as I remember how to do it.



Lessons learned at the ballpark - pt 3

Compassion.  I saw the most wonderful lesson in compassion tonight at the ball park.

Life is crazy busy for us right now.  4 of the 5 kids are involved in sports.  Most nights we have things overlapping.  Dad and I do good dividing up when he is off so one of us is at the most important things, or we split practices.  I will admit there are things we are missing, but we are relying on some great people that are willing to help out with getting our kids where they need to be.  Vary rarely do we miss a game.

Tonight, Ashleigh, the oldest daughter, had a double header; Brandy, the middle daughter, had practice; and Johnny had a game.  We tagged up and watched the 1st of Ashleigh's games.  The original plan was I was going to the practice and daddy was going to Johnny's game.  I made arrangements for Brandy to get to and from practice so we both got to go see Johnny play, even if we were a few minutes late. 

I am glad I did that.  Johnny's coaches showed so much class and compassion for another little boy, that I am proud that I got to see it.  Someday, when Johnny is old enough to fully understand, I will tell him about this moment.

The 2 teams playing are both tee-ballers.  Our team is a little bit older.  Most of our boys are 5 to 6 years old.  Their team seemed very inexperienced and young.  Most of them appeared to be between 4 and 5, with maybe even a few 3 year olds sprinkled in.

One of the best things in tee-ball is that most parents cheer the loudest for the smaller players on either team.  It's so cute to watch the little ones hit their hardest and run as fast as their little legs can go.  Imagine how far away those bases must look to them?

I first noticed one of the little boys when he was playing catcher.  I was admiring his tiny little hands.  He was such a dainty thing!  He was so cute later going up to bat.  His batting helmet made him look like a bobble head.  His coach handed him his bat and he took it in one hand and tried to grip it with the other.  He then just held on with his one good hand and balanced it a bit with his wrist.  He swung with all his might, missed and came back and tapped the ball.  It trickled off the tee.  It slowly rolled out of the batter's box and just barely made it into fair territory. 

All the parents jump up and tell him to run.  He runs as fast as his awkward stride will allow.  Our catcher runs out and scoops up the ball and easily throws it to 1st base.  1st baseman gets the ball right in front of the base.  The coaches are yelling to NOT tag the base.  The little boy trips and falls and lands on the base line.  1st baseman is still holding the ball, really confused, but he heard the coaches yell throw it to 3rd, so he did.  The little one gets back on his feet and runs to 1st.  Both sets of fans are cheering and clapping.

Our coach goes out to the pitcher, 2nd base (Johnny), and short stop and tells them no matter what, that that little boy is going to score.  They are not to get him out.  The kids don't quite understand, but go with it. 

Next hit, Little Boy runs from 1st and stops about half way to second.  With some encouragement he continues on and jumps on the bag.  Next hit, he goes from 2nd and heads towards the pitchers mound.  The umps, now realizing what we are doing, helps guide him to 3rd base.  On the next hit, the ball lands between the pitcher and the catcher.  Following the instructions of the coach, the catcher picks it up and throws it to 1st.  Little Boy runs home and scores amid wild cheering from both sides.

After the game, I went up and told the coach that she showed a lot of class.  My husband told me later that the other coach was so shocked by our actions.  No other team had let Little Boy get beyond 1st base. 

Little Boy has cerebal palsy.  He is never going to be the all-star baseball player.  But he got to know the joy of scoring a run.  The joy of hearing the crowd cheer (and loudly) just for him.  He got to have his moment to shine like the true star that he is.  I hope his parents got a picture or video to show him and help him remember.

I applaud his parents for letting him play baseball even though he has physical limitations that prevent him from being able to fully participate.  I applaud the parents in the stands for recognizing this special moment and cheering for him.  I applaud our coach for realizing this moment and allowing our boys to learn to have compassion for others (even though right now they are probably way too young to know what kind of impact they had on someone else's life).  

And I thank the coach for teaching our boys that baseball isn't just about winning games.

And the world spins.

My ideal family was mom, dad, 4 kids (2 boys, 2 girls). I had my ideal family.  Even numbers.  We even had a male dog and a female cat to keep it equal.

Then the desire for another baby began. Yes we wanted another. No we didn't.  Back and forth. We had perfect numbers.  All of them are healthy, why risk it.  I was just starting to come to grips with Johnny being my last baby, when we found out we were pregnant with ToriBeth.

Ahhhhh! An almost perfect pregnancy! Despite having to do multiple insulin shots a day.

Then I began to worry.  Why was it so easy?  I knew this had to be my last baby.  I was getting older, my health was getting worse.  The worry over me and the worry over potential complications to the baby from my diabetes made that decision for us.  But still, why was it all so easy? Except labor, but that is a different issue!

Then she was born and she was perfect.  But still I waited for the other shoe to drop.  I very deeply felt that this was all too perfect.  I watched over her vigilantly.  I worried about her hearing.  She was doing great and developing right on target.  But that unease was still there. What was it?  Why could I not just accept all was good and move on?

ToriBeth is still a wonderful baby.  She's funny and engaging and people just flock to her.  And she is perfectly healthy. 

I feel bad that I was waiting for something to happen.  But there is a reason behind mother's intuition.

Only I was focusing on the wrong child.

I can't really say I missed the signs.  Because the bruises weren't really anything when you have an active little boy.  The 1st bruises I took Johnny to the doctor for was when he was barely (if even) walking.  There was 1 on his tailbone area that the doctor diagnosed as a mongolian spot.  The other was on his ribs.  She said it just looked like he fell on a toy or something.  All the times he fell and hit his head I never took him in.  And they were pretty ugly.  I just figured they were bumps.  And he always seemed to have a bump.  There was also the time he fell out of a kitchen chair and hit his elbow.  It swelled up and looked horrible.  We had it x-rayed looking for a break or bone infection.

In all honesty, I knew there was a chance he had hemophilia.  It is passed on the X-gene.  My dad has it.  I grew up around it.  I just never put any of this together until I sit and really just think.  I asked to have Johnny tested a year ago, before he went to school.  His doctor didn't see any need.  Figured we would have known by then.

But early this summer, Johnny started getting some rather large and unexplained bruises at his joints, mainly his knees.  They would just show up.  He would have no idea what caused them.  I finally took him back to the doctor and she ran some tests.  His factor VIII came back off and she referred us off to a blood doctor.  Still thinking it was something else, but she wanted to be 100% sure.

We have met with the pediatric hematologist and had more blood drawn and we go back in 2 more weeks.  This feels like an eternity.  I will feel better when we have an official diagnosis and a plan in place.  And some literature to be able to give to his teacher and the school nurse who have never even heard of it, let alone know how to deal with an iccident. 

Funny thing, Johnny has always loved baseball.  It is his passion.  He watched every single game of the semi and finals of the World Series last year.  He has a huge collection of baseball cards.  His most prized possessions are his autographed Brandon Weeden baseball and his 2nd place trophy from a tee-ball tournament......oh and maybe his San Francisco Giants jersey and hat......and we can't forget his glove either.  His older brother, Eric, has always played football.  But Johnny has never really ever shown an interest.  Now I guess that is a good thing since football would be completely out of the question.  We can make baseball work, but football is full contact.

Currently, his arms and shins are just speckled in bruises.  I noticed one on his hip and another on his thigh.  These all look minor and non-concerning.

But you know what?  The world keeps spinning.  I have always been protective of Johnny.  Maybe because I am older.  Maybe because he has always seemed more accident prone.  Maybe because of all of his ear infections or his breathing issues.  Or maybe....because I thought he was the last for so long.  Either way, this just makes us stronger and more educated.

Beef and Broccoli "on the fly"

"On the fly" - meaning something I did quick so I could get food in my kids and send them off to bed. (OK, well if you really know my kids, especially the youngest boy, you would know the concept of sending him to bed is almost laughable.) 

Yesterday, Mark was gone preparing for hunting season.  Usually when he does this he gets home super super late and will have grabbed something to eat before he got home.  My oldest son was gone to work and the oldest daughter was over at a friend's house.  That left me wondering what to feed the 3 youngest and myself for dinner.  As you know, young children are not overly needy of a gourmet meal.  And honestly, they could care less if it was balanced or had any fruits or veggies at all.

I did talk to Mark on his trip home and realized he was going to be home much earlier than usual.  Now I am starting to "feel real bad, bad llama".  I have no plans for dinner.  He did save me when he said he wasn't very hungry and would just eat a salad. But I was still having some issues on what to feed the littles.  One year olds aren't crazy about salads.  And I don't care how good of an eater the 5 year old is, he's not crazy about eating just a salad for dinner either.

Ahhhhhh! Daddy noodles aka Ramen noodles in the rest of society.  Those small little packages of cheap, overly salted processed food, that graces the plate of almost every college student or young adult just starting out.

My younger kids love these things.  And they're cheap.  But, hello? I can't just feed my kids these for dinner and call it good.  I had some major Mommy guilt going on with that concept.  As I was breaking up the noodles and putting them in a bowl to microwave them (I am going all out here. In all truthfulness though, I didn't even know you COULD cook them in a microwave until my much younger brother taught me several years ago), I had a light bulb moment.

A week or so ago, I had caught a few moments of one of my favorite cooking shows Mad Hungry. She had one of her sons on the show with her and he was adding stuff to his ramen noodle "sauce".  You can find his recipe here: http://www.marthastewart.com/349053/ramen-noodle-upgrade.  I didn't see but a few seconds of the show, but I did see him add peanut butter.

I start digging through the fridge and freezer to see how I can transform the simple package of noodles.  I am also a fan of Chopped, so I took this as a challenge to see what I could do.  I found some broccoli florets in the freezer and some roast beef deli meat in the fridge.  Hmmmmm? Could I? Would it taste ok?

Beef and Broccoli "on the fly"

1 pkg beef ramen noodles

1/2 cup cut up deli roast beef (leftover roast beef could be used as well)

1 cup broccoli florets, cooked (roughly chopped if using florets)

1 tsp peanut butter

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/4-1/2 tsp ground ginger

1 tsp soy sauce (add more to taste)

bean sprouts, optional

lime wedges, optional

chili paste or sirachi sauce, optional

Cook the ramen noodles according to package directions.  (In my house that would be in a bowl, add enough water to almost cover and then cook in the microwave for 3 minutes.  Let stand for 2-3 minutes.) Do not drain.  Add seasoning packet and stir in. Add the peanut butter, garlic, ginger, and soy sauce to the ramen noodles. Stir. Gently toss in the broccoli and meat.  Put in individual serving bowls.  Top with bean sprouts, a squeeze of fresh lime, and/or some chili paste or sirachi sauce if you choose.  Serves 2-3

Not exactly the best choice for a dinner, but it was an improvement over plain ramen noodles.  And the kids devoured it.  When I made more for me to eat, I had to use turkey meat so I used a chicken flavored one.  I don't think it was AS good as the one I made for the kids, but it wasn't too bad.  Even Mark was impressed.

And so this season begins.

I am a hunting widow.  As you can tell by the title of my blog.  My husband is a hunter.  He hunts deer. We eat deer.  He hunts turkey.  We eat turkey.  He hunts duck. We eat chicken.  He hunts geese.  We eat more chicken.  I just need to clarify.  I have nothing against eating ducks and geese.  But just because he hunts them, doesn't mean he shoots them.  Someday.  Right now he is still learning those.

See he hasn't always been a hunter.  When I met my hubby all those many many years ago, I would classify him as a prep.  Ask my family.  They will all agree.  It would be interesting to get my cousin's (who is 100% country born and bred) opinion on my hubby when they first met.  I took Mark to my family's Thanksgiving, I guess it was the 2nd or 3rd year we were married.  He was dressed in a nice button down shirt, ironed jeans, and dress shoes.  He sat on the couch looking absolutely terrified.

A few years later we go back.  This time he ditched the dress shoes and put on his tennis shoes and he no longer had ironed jeans (I only iron out of neccesity).  This was the 1st time he met my cousin Jacinda who came in all muddy with a stringer of fish.  He did venture out of the house this time with my step-dad, Lloyd, to go look for someone's deer that they shot and couldn't track.  Any guesses what happened on this trek? He tore his good jeans climbing over a barb wire fence.  I will say it was all down hill from there.  But it did take a few more years for the transformation to be complete from city boy to redneck.

The next step wouldn't take place until he got on the fire department and met a good friend who is an avid hunter.  This friend invited him to go shopping for guns.  He also happened to be single.  They always say hindsight is 20/20.  I don't know if I would change the course that this took had I known then what I know now.

This created the person my husband has become.  Now he has deer stands and blinds, feeders, cameras, targets, etc.  He is getting the most out of his experience.  Today he left to go set up his feeders on my cousin's land.  He is really excited.  The newspaper had an article that stated that the deer will be really attracted to corn feeders this year because of our excessive heat and drought.  He has big plans for the season. Plus my oldest hunts, and my oldest daughter will get her hunter safety this year so she can hunt as well.  (Uh oh - I better watch that, it might be his excuse to buy another gun!!)  I wonder how much deer meat my freezer will hold?

I cook the meat and my husband hangs the trophies on the wall.  It's a fair trade.  Right?

October 1st is the opening of archery deer season.  That is his goal, to final take one down with his bow.  I wish him luck!!!

Cupcakes and cookies

The sisters' visit was survived.

As was the turning 16 of my oldest.

As was his birthday party. 

But the prep work for his party was crazy.  Smoking, cooking, baking.  Felt like it went on for days.  I had no idea how many people to expect.  He had invited a bunch of friends, mostly football players.  I had invited people to come help celebrate our survival of 16 years of parenthood.  Plus the obligatory family members.

Eric had requested a smoked brisket and pulled pork and potato salad.  Last minute, he asked for devilled eggs.  But the baking was my choice.

I made rootbeer cupcakes, butterscotch cupcakes, and chocolate and butterscotch chip with bacon cookies.  I topped the rootbeer cupcakes with rootbeer barrel candies.  The butterscotch cupcakes were topped with a butterscotch candy.

There was of course way too much food, but Eric seemed to have a good time and that was all that mattered.

3 years until the next 16th birthday party.  That one will be in May so it won't be so miserably hot.

My Love Dare challenge

So if anyone of you out there was wanting to follow my Love Dare Lenten resolution, I wanted to fill you in.

I made it about 5 days.  I am glad my marriage isn't on the line and I was trying to salvage it, because I would have failed horribly.  It went downhill when I had to skip a day.  The day I skipped I was supposed to call my husband at work and ask if he needed anything.  Only he doesn't work normal hours.  Just like the character in "Fireproof", my husband is a firefighter.  He works 10 days a month.  His schedule is on-off-on-off-on-off for 4 days. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I know it is really no excuse to not finish it.

But I just wanted to put it out there that I am not done with it.  I will try it again when we get back onto a normal schedule again.  Stay tuned for the installments when they come back around in a few months. 

I had a dream......Happy Birthday Grand-dad!!

16 years ago, while I was still pregnant with my oldest, I had lots of crazy baby dreams.  I very vividly remember one where I had the baby on a Saturday and I was in church the next day.  I put no significance on it at the time.

Fast forward to the end on my pregnancy.  I had my doctor's appointment on a Wednesday. At the visit, she asked me if we wanted to be induced the next day.  As excited, soon-to-be 1st time parents, and lacking the knowledge of how painful induction was, we jumped on it.  And we welcomed our little bundle of joy on Thursday, July 27. 

Later my dream came back to me.  I don't know how true my dream would have become.  But the way the days fell, my grandfather's birthday is 2 days after Eric's.  And on that particular year, it happened to fall on a Saturday.

If I would have held out and not been induced, would Eric have shared my grandfather's birthday?  I always wonder that.  Every year as their birthdays roll around again.

This year, for Eric's birthday, my grandmother sent him pictures of grand-dad.  One of them was a more recent before he got really sick and the other was a picture of him playing football.

I never knew he played football.  It doesn't surprise me, I just never knew.  Eric decided that was the best thing he could have ever gotten.

Today would have been grand-dad's 77th birthday.  He has been gone for 8 years.  It is so hard to believe that it has been that long.  He was such a kind and gentle man.  My older kids miss him and his funny antics.  I wish he was here to hang out with my littler ones.  Brandy, who was born 2 days after he passed away, that I am positive got to hang out with him for those 2 days.  Little Johnny, who was named after him.  And the baby, ToriBeth, who would have charmed her way into his heart and been his best friend.

Happy Birthday Grand-dad!

A test

That's what this weekend will be - a test.

You see, I have a large family.  There are 7 of us living in an 1100 sq ft house.  There are officially 2 bedrooms, and we have 1 bathroom.
Between my divorced parents and their 2nd marriages, I have 6 sisters and 2 brothers.

Here is my secret - I am claustrophobic. Not only to small, closed in spaces, but to crowded areas as well.  Maybe it is because I am short, but I am not crazy about crowds.

2 of my sisters are here for a visit.  I am excited to have them here.  I am considerably older then they are and I haven't really spent too much time with them.  Oh but, I am trying hard to keep my head calm and to think straight and not to let myself get overwhelmed.  Because when I get overwhelmed, I shut down.

I don't want to be a bad hostess.  But it is really hard for me to let people hang out in my bubble for extended periods of time.  We don't have a lot of people over.

I am looking forward to cooking for them and having them help me bake cupcakes for Eric's party.  Lots of chatting and catching up.  But I am nervous.  So nervous that I am going to feel like I am suffocating.

I hope I pass my test.  Not that they are putting me to a test, but I am putting myself to a test.  I didn't study very well, so I hope it all goes well.

If you don't hear from me in several days, come check my closet.  I will be hiding in there with a large bottle of wine, rocking back and forth, and mumbling incoherently.

Holy Moley! My baby is 16!! How did this happen?

On July 27, 1995, at 4:54 pm, I welcomed my first born into this world.  Eric was a wee little 6 pounds and 6 ounces.  That is so hard to remember looking at him now.  He laughed today realizing that he is 40x the size he was as a newborn.

A trip down memory lane brings lots of smiles.

Some of his early words:
cow-doctor = helicopter
me-meal = oatmeal (with dirt = brown sugar)
quit-its = carrots
ar-so-saur = dinosaur

We used to play a game with him as we were driving around.
Where does the helicopter go? To the helipad.
Where does the ambulance go? To the hospital.
Where does the boat go? To the marina.
Where does the fire engine go? To the fire station.
Where does the airplane go? To the airport.
Where does the train go? To the home depot. (well that is what he always said anyway.  It took us forever to fix that.  Was that a clue that we spent too much time in Home Depot in his early years?)

At the age of 4, he played soccer.
At 6, he wrestled.
At 9, he played football.
At 16, he is still playing football.

At 12, he got his 1st electric guitar.
At 14, he got his 2nd, a warlock.

He has always been fascinated by bugs.  He loved legos and hot wheel cars. And he always loved to read (not so much now, but that is because he is busy).

His first interest in Nascar was peaked by getting a race car (in a box of cereal, I think).  It was the #9 Dodge car driven by Bill Elliot.

From there he became fascinated with Tony Stewart driving the #20 Home Depot car.

He doesn't watch too much racing any more, but I still think he would love to go to a race someday.  We have taken him to visit Daytona and Talledega.  All he used to talk about was being a race car driver.

When he was 4, he told me he wanted to be a "talentologist". A what? A "talentologist", you know the scientist that studies dinosaurs. Ahhhh!!!!

At about 5, being an astronaut was his future ambition.  He would draw us pictures of the universe.  I remember being at my mom's one night and he drew us a picture of the universe.  It took about 10 sheets of paper and covered almost her whole living room floor.

Later the military was a frequent mention.  The last I heard, he wants to be a sniper in the Marines.

Eric has evolved into a fabulous artist.  His current favorite to do is graffiti art.  He is always working on a new style.  He loves it when I can't read what the letters are.  Someday I would love to take him to Chicago to see some much better graffiti art than just the tags we have here.

It still amazes me how this baby

Turned into this handsome young man

Happy 16th Birthday son!!! I love you!!!!

Lessons learned at the ballpark - pt 2

I already covered what life lessons my 5 year old son is learning by playing little league t-ball.  One night while we were out watching one of his older sisters play another lesson struck me and made me start thinking about other things that are being gained by just BEING at the ballpark.

First I need to start with a funny story.

I usually always have a small amount of cash on me when we go to a game.  I have lots of kids and some nights are really long and I have to buy snacks and/or drinks to keep some of them entertained.  On this particular night, I had no money.  Not even any change in my pocket.  We were watching my oldest daughter play.  My husband helps at her games so he is in the dugout with the coaches and team.  My little 5 year old kept coming up and telling me he was hungry.  Sorry, no money, go ask your dad.  He finally goes and tells daddy that he would like a ring pop.  Daddy asks how much one costs.  Johnny tells him to just give him a dollar.  Daddy sends him to me to find out how much a ring pop costs.  Johnny relays the info back that they cost 50 cents.  Daddy gives him 2 quarters.  Later, daddy informs me that the little man was trying to hustle him for a dollar.

Maybe I am in the minority, but I let my young son go to the concession stand by himself.  This is one of the lessons both him and his 8 year old sister have learned.  They can both go up and order what they would like and pay for it.  Johnny knows if he gives the lady a dollar for a ring pop, he should get 2 quarters back and that those 2 quarters are enough to buy his baby sister a capri sun.

So other lessons learned include the value of a dollar, and being able to speak up for their selves.  And patience.  They have learned lots of patience and that there are other people that are just as important as they are.  They have learned to cheer on and support their siblings in their endeavors.  They have learned to make friends with other younger siblings.  And they have learned when momma says it is time to go, she is leaving if you are ready or not and you better hurry or you will be left.

Eggplant Parmesan - a lighter version

My youngest son is 5.  He will pretty much eat anything you put in front of him. But there is something about eggplant that fascinates him.  My guess is the color.  Last year he begged me to plant some in the garden.  We got several off our plants.  That was the 1st time I had cooked eggplant in 8 years and only the 2nd time ever. 

I can still clearly remember my 1st time to cook it.  I found a recipe for a healthy eggplant parmesan.  The picture looked good, so I gave it a try.  We don't have too many meatless meals around here so I had no idea how this would go over with the hubby.  Hubby liked it, oldest son (7 then) hated it, oldest daughter (4 then) loved it, and my pregnant self could hardly take a bite.  I had a hard time getting myself to try this recipe again.  Matter of fact, it still took me a whole year after we planted them in the garden to try an eggplant parmesan again.

I am older and wiser and more experienced in the kitchen now. Plus the internet is easily available at my fingertips to help me find just about any recipe my little heart could desire.

Eggplant Parmesan

1 medium to large eggplant

1 jar of marinara sauce

2 cups of cottage cheese

1 cup of grated parmesan cheese, divided

2 eggs, lightly beaten

1 cup seasoned breadcrumbs

4 cups of loosely packed fresh baby spinach leaves

8 oz block of mozzarella cheese, thinly sliced

fresh grated parmesan

Preheat the oven to 400* and lightly spray a cookie sheet.  Slice the eggplant into 1/2" slices.  Mix breadcrumbs and 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese in a shallow bowl (I like to use pie plates) and the eggs in a separate shallow bowl.  Dip the eggplant in egg and then dredge in breadcrumbs to fully coat.  Place in a single layer on cookie sheet.  Bake 15 minutes and then flip them and bake another 15 minutes.  Your eggplant slices should be a nice and crispy golden brown.  Set them aside.  Reduce oven temp to 350*.

I like the taste of cottage cheese (and the nutritional value) a lot better than ricotta.  But I like the creaminess of the ricotta.  So I always put my cottage cheese in the blender/food processor or ninja in my case and blend until smooth.  Mix 1/4 cup of parmesan in with the cottage cheese.

Remove the stems from the spinach leaves and discard.  Stack the leaves on top of each other and slice into thin slices.

At this point, I used 6 individual casserole dishes.  If those are not available, use a 9" square baking dish.  Spread a thin layer of marinara sauce on the bottom of your dish. Place the eggplant in a single layer.  Put a small spoonful of cottage cheese on each eggplant, top with a large pinch of 2 of the spinach, a slice of mozzarella, a spoonful of sauce, and another eggplant slice.  If you have extra slices of eggplant keep stacking in the same order.  (*note - when I made them in the individual dishes, I did some with 3 eggplant slices and some with only 2 for the children)  Finish up with sauce over the top, slices of mozzarella, and a sprinkling of spinach.  More sauce and cheese makes it extra gooey.

Bake in 350* oven for 20 minutes or until it is melted and bubbly.

I thought of taking pictures of this about 3/4 of the way through.  One of these days I will actually have the camera in my hand when I start to cook.

This recipe is lighter than a regular version because the pieces are baked and not fried.  Also the use of cottage cheese ups the protein and calcium content.  

Winemaking - a beginning

I am very new into the world of winemaking.  I like to drink wine, so my darling husband thought I might like to make wine.  He then bought me books so we could learn.  I now have several recipe books.

Our first batch was apricot. I made 3 gallons of wine from apricots picked fresh from our tree.  It was in.cred.ible!!  Sweetened just right, it was light and fresh.  We gave a bottle to friend for him and his wife to try.  They gave great reviews.  I had 16, well 15 now, bottles of liquid gold in my cellar.  This was in the spring

Imagine my surprise when the thermostat started to rise and we found 12 of our 15 bottles had popped their corks.  I was devastated.  I took the other 3 bottles in the house.  2 of them had bulging corks so I went ahead and opened them, they fizzed and foamed.  The 3rd bottle we sent home with a friend who happened to be here and told him to get it in the fridge. 

Out of 3 gallons of wine that made 16 bottles, I only got to drink 2/3 of a bottle.  It was sparkly though, almost like a bottle of champagne.  Apparently when the temps started to go up, the sugars started fermenting again.  I wish I would have know.  It was such a waste of good wine to have it all over my cellar floor.

The next batch of wine that we started was peach.  Another 3 gallons. This time these were fresh picked from a friend's orchard.  This wine has been racked several times and we are now just waiting for it to clear.  It has been sitting in it's carboy for almost a year now.  Sweetened and stabilized, we have our fingers crossed that we figured out what we did wrong last time.

In the meantime, we started another batch. 3 gallons of blackberry. YUM! It is a beautiful color. We have several months yet before we know how it turns out. 

The husband and I finally agreed on a name.  It is really hard to combine his hobbies and interests with my hobbies and interests to come up with a name.  We did get it though - eventually.  The name of our little winery is Wild at Heart.  Still working on the label.  I have an idea in my head, but getting it in a picture is not working so well yet.

I do have several other wines that I would like to try to make

• cranberry
• pomegranate
• blueberry
• rose
• strawberry
• watermelon
• raspberry
• apple

Lucky for me (or maybe not so lucky), I only have two 3 gallon carboys and three 1 gallon carboys.  So I guess I will work on my list slowly.

Lessons learned at the ballpark - pt 1

It is now July here in sunny Oklahoma. It is has been miserable hot since early June. Normally this would be no big deal to most people. Just stay inside in the air conditioning and enjoy your icy cold beverage. But for my family, we spent just about every night either at the ball field or practice. So while I was out in the heat, getting a crazy tan, downing bottles of gatorade, hauling kids' gear around, and sizzling my poor brain, I had a chance to think of everything we gain from softball and baseball.

Just to reiterate - I have 2 girls playing softball, a 13 year old and an 8 year old, and then a 5 year old boy playing tee-ball.

I think my boy probably learns the most since this is his only interaction with people his own age and adults that are not his parents. 

He has learned patience.  He has to wait his turn to bat.  He has to wait in the field for the ball to come to him to make a play on it.  He has to wait after the game is over for the coach to talk and then hand out drink tickets.

He has learned to share.  The whole team plays with only 1 ball.  All the boys want to have a turn, must share and not be a ball hog.

He has learned to walk in a line and not always being able to be first.

He has learned that we don't always win, but it is sure fun when we do. And that we just need to try harder next time.  And that his parents still love him no matter what.

He has learned to be nice to the other players on his team and the other team.

He has learned to take instructions from other trusted adults and to actually listen and then do what was said.

This is a huge undertaking at 5.  He didn't know he was going to be learning all this when he begged to play his most favorite of games.  I didn't really think deep about what he would learn and gain.  I was just looking forward to watching him play.  But now thinking back, I like knowing that he has learned some valuable life lessons from playing something as simple as little league baseball.  Things that will help him this year in school and beyond.

My story of Larry

Every once in a while you meet a person that impacts your life in one way or another.

Larry is my person.

Honestly I know very little about Larry.  I know he is older than I am. I know that he is a hard worker.  I know that he is kind. I know that he has some form of mental handicap. And I know that he shows up in the most random of places.

I first met Larry when my oldest daughter, who is now 13, was a toddler.  He was the sacker at my local grocery store.  I only know his name because it was on his name tag. He tries to communicate, but I can't understand him. But I always addressed him by name.  He is just as important in this universe as I am.  But everytime he saw us, he would smile so big and wave. And Ashleigh just loved him.  It helped that he bought her a piece of candy just about every single time as well. (But she has always seemed to have that affect on guys - but that is another post.)

For several years, Larry sacked my groceries and carried them to the car.  I remember one time that my husband had dropped me off at the door and stayed in the car with the kids.  Even though Ashleigh wasn't with me, Larry bought her a piece of candy and carried my groceries out while I was still paying. My husband was so confused as to why this strange man was trying to put groceries in our car.

The grocery store went through some ownership changes and Larry left.

A few years later, I saw Larry again.  This time working in a fast food restaurant. His face lit up when he saw us. He pointed to Ash and motioned about how much she had grown. She had grown up. She was now 10 or 11. I saw him off and on there for a few months.  I did notice the last time I was in there he was gone.

I was surprised to walk into church one Sunday and see him there. Afterwards he came and found me to say hi. Remember, I can't understand him when talks. So when I asked him where we was working and what he was doing, he took my by the hand and led me over to his friend that brought him to our church.  I feel bad that he can't talk to me so I can understand, but he always makes my heart smile when I see him.  He was surprised to see me with 5 kids.  He was counting them off on his fingers and laughing.

Who is your Larry? That one person that silently and unknowingly makes you a better person?

Apricot Bourbon Glazed Salmon

I always love when I make a recipe and my husband raves about it.  Makes me feel good.  Especially since so many of our meals are just routine and I do what I can to get dinner served quickly before I need to get out the door to ball practice or a game.

Tonight I scored a winner.

Apricot Bourbon Glazed Salmon

8 4-oz salmon fillets

1/2 cup real butter (1 stick)

1/2 cup dried apricots (soaked in warm water for about 30 minutes), drained & diced

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/3 cup bourbon

2 heaping teaspoons dijon mustard (I prefer the grainy kinds)

Melt  2 Tbsp of butter in a large cast iron skillet.  Add salmon fillets (I could only cook 4 at a time).  Cook on one side until you see the color start to change 1/2 way up the meat, then flip and cook for a few more  minutes on the other side.  Remove salmon to a plate.  Cook the remainder of the fillets if you need to, adding more butter as needed. 

In the same skillet, melt 4 tbsp butter then add apricots. Saute until the apricots start to get a bit translucent and soft.  Add the brown sugar and cook for about 2 minutes over medium heat.  Add the dijon mustard and bourbon. Cook until just starting to thicken.  Add back the salmon fillets, flipping them over in the sauce until completely coated.  Cook for another 3-5 minutes to glaze the fillets.

I served this with a wild rice and salad.

*NOTE:  I am going to do some more experimenting with this recipe.  Hubby would like to try it made with chicken or pork so he could make it at the station for cheaper.  I am also going to try this with some canned apricots, apricot jam/preserves, and/or frozen (or fresh, depending on the season) apricots.  

Enjoy and let me know what you think. 

Jambalaya

I really do love the ease of my La Chamba pot.  For me, I dump the ingredients in, place it in the oven and then go get done what I need to.  Usually that involves some sort of ball practice since we have those 4 days a week.  I made Jambalaya recently.  I know this probably isn't authentic, but it is good.  The husband and I use a creole seasoning on ours at the table to spice it up.

Jambalaya

2 cups raw rice (I used brown rice)

4 cups water

3 chicken breasts, uncooked, cut into 1" cubes

1 lb smoked sausage, cut into 1/2" pieces

1 med onion, chopped

1 green bell pepper, chopped

1-2 cans diced tomatoes

(I prefer mine with 2, but you can use 1 if you like less tomatoes; can also use Ro-tel for some added heat)

Mix all ingredients together in the La Chamba pot.  Bake in 325 degree oven for 2 to 2.5 hours.

That's it.  Simple, huh?  I really need to start remembering to take pictures of my creations to share.

Lazy Day Lasagna

I spent several days on a quest trying to find recipes to cook in my Chamba pot. I kept coming across the same few recipes. Therefore I had to get creative and adapt some recipes to work in my beautiful Columbian pot.

Lazy Day Lasagna

(or in my case, busy day)

1 box of lasagna noodles, uncooked

1 lg (or 2 regular size) jar spaghetti sauce

1 lb bulk sausage

1 onion, chopped

1 bell pepper, chopped

1 32 oz carton cottage cheese

fresh baby spinach

fresh button mushrooms, finely chopped

2 cups shredded mozzerella cheese

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

In a large skillet, brown the sausage, add the onions and peppers, cook until onions are clear. Add the mushrooms, cook about 5 minutes.


In your Chamba pot, put a couple large spoonfuls of spaghetti sauce on the bottom to cover. Break up 3 or 4 lasagna noodles and cover the bottom. Put a few spoonfuls of sauce over the noodles, again make sure they are covered. Now a layer of meat mixture, some mozzerella cheese, and more sauce. Break up 3 or 4 noodles and cover the sauce. Next layer is sauce, cottage cheese, spinach leaves, sauce. 3 or 4 broken up noodles and then repeat the meat layer.


Keep layering until you either run out of room or out of the stuff for the layers. Finish up with a layer of noodles on top and the remaining spaghetti sauce. Put the lid on your La Chamba pot and place in the oven.


I baked mine in a 300 degree oven for just over 2 hours. In the last 10-15 minutes of baking, I sprinkled cheddar and more mozzerella cheese over the top and replaced the lid to finish it up.




This won't come out in beautiful little squares, but the flavors are all there. All of my kids LOVE this. I only have one that picks anything out and that is a stray onion or pepper that she might catch.

The Love Dare - Day 3

Love is not selfish

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;

give preference to one another in honor.

~ Romans 12:10

Today's challenge:

As well as refraining from any negative comments, I was to buy my spouse something that says I was thinking of him today.

Not too terribly hard, right?

I figured it was perfect since he was back at the station today. I was going to go get him a butter pecan shake and take it to him. Just a small treat to say I love you. ONLY...... he got sent to dispatch. On those days I have to take him down something to eat since he isn't allowed to leave. OK, so I can still take him his ice cream. But when I get down there with his dinner, he is so busy he can't even leave the boards to come out and get it. Poor thing, he had to send someone else out to get it.

I am trying here, but I don't know if these little things are out of the norm for me to be noticed.

I continue on!

And just for the record, I told him I was exercising daily for Lent. Only I am doing REALLY bad on that one. He doesn't know that I am doing The Love Dare on him.

The adventures of my La Chamba pot

What started as a quest to find a bean pot to make some authenic Boston Baked Beans, resulted in a trip to Williams-Sonoma and the purchase of this awesome Columbian La Chamba pot. Is this newly aquired La Chamba pot the same as the bean pot I was seeking? No, but it was as close as I could find that would help me get dinner on the table that night.

Just to keep it all straight and to give proper credit to what started all of this. The recipe that I wanted to make was The Pioneer Woman's Boston Baked Beans. If you click on her link, you will see the beautiful bean pot that she used near the bottom.


As an avid cook, I decided I NEED one of those. Not next week. Not tomorrow. Today. Like NOW! Like it already needed to be in my oven simmering away. So my 1st step was to call my mother-in-law and ask her if she had a bean pot. Yes she did and she even told me where I could find it so I could borrow it.


Yes it was a clay pot. Seemed more like ceramic, and it didn't have those high sides. Plus it didn't look very big for my pot full of mouth-watering beans. But I did take it, just in case.


I saunter into Williams-Sonoma, after the obligatory stop at Godiva to fulfill my cravings of good chocolate, and ask for a bean pot. And the guy just sort of stood there and blinked at me. Oh come on! Surely everybody knows what a bean pot is. After all I just learned about one that very morning!! (Not entirely true, I did see an episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives where Guy went into some small restaurant and made beans in a bean pot.) So the clerk had to call in some help. Now I am explaining to an older lady what I am looking for. She takes me over to the shelf full of these gorgeous black clay pots in all shapes and sizes. And I fall in love and I buy the round one that most closely resembles my desired bean pot. At this point I really have no idea anything about this pot other than I wanted it.






I come home and wash out the pot and start my beans to cooking. Then I hit the world wide web looking for information about my new pot. Oh and some more ideas of what to cook in it to justify the purchase. Because the little baby was not the cheapest thing to buy and if I just planned on cooking beans in it, the hubby might have been putting my ashes in it.




Here is what I learned:

La Chamba pots are made in a village in Columbia. The same village that has been making them for the past 700 or so years. Almost all of the villagers are involved in this. They are all handmade and fired. Oh and did I mention it's gorgeous?

The Love Dare - Day 2

Love is kind.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other,

just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

~ Ephesians 4:32

Today's challenge was to continue with not saying anything negative as well as doing one act of kindness.

Again, this one was easy. It is very common practice for me to do acts of kindness - bringing him a drink, making him his lunch, making his plate at dinner, etc.

Love Dare - Day 1

Happy Ash Wednesday!!!

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,

bearing eith one another in love.

~ Ephesians 4:2 NIV

Love is patient.

Today's challenge was to demonstrate patience and to not say anything negative to your spouse.

This one was an easy one for me. OK well maybe not the patience one, but I usually try hard not to say anything negative. But for today this was an easy challenge. Of course it helped when Mark was at work all day.

Basically this one wasn't a challenge for me. I am sure these will get harder the farther into the challenge I get.

My Lenten Resolve - The Love Dare

I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do this year for Lent. I had just finished reading Fireproof again and thought doing The Love Dare would be perfect.

For those of you that don't know, The Love Dare is a 40 day challenge to help improve your marriage. Just for the record, my husband and I are happily married (for almost 16 years). But I figured it could never hurt to try and improve it.

I will document my 40-day Lenten Love Dare journey. Jump in and join me if you choose.

Now these three remain:

faith, hope, and love.

But the greatest of these in love

1 Corinthians 13:13

Oh me oh my! That year sure flew by!

I don't really know how it happened, but somehow, someway, my baby girl turned 1.

Her first year was a complete whirlwind and was gone in a blink. The problem with a whole houseful of children, is that it is very hard to just sit and cherish the little moments with the younger ones that I got to enjoy with the older ones.

It saddens me to know that sometimes the little ones have had to be put off for a few minutes so I can deal with an issue with the older ones. The older ones got what they needed, when they needed it and very rarely had to wait. I know, I know, it's not harming the littles and it is teaching them patience, but it still makes me sad to here them cry out for me and I can't be there immediately for them. I guess that is just the mommy in me.

Sorry, got off track there for a second. Back to the baby's birthday.

Like I was saying, my little princess has turned 1.

The 1st year is such a huge leap for development. Think about it. When a babe is born, they sleep, eat, and poop. As the days, weeks, and months progress, they learn to hold up their heads, bat at their toys, roll over, sit up, beg (oh wait that was the dog, sorry), crawl, stand, walk, and talk. They go from being a snuggly lump of baby goodness to being a walking, talking child in a matter of 12 months.

My little ToriBeth is walking. She has 5 teeth (OUCH!). She says hi and dadadadadadadada (nonstop). She can sign bunny, light, and more. She is a charmer and loves everybody.

I know she wasn't in our original plans for our family, but she is a blessing that we never knew we needed until she got here. She makes my heart smile.

Happy Birthday Brandy!

This is about 2 weeks late, but I want to do it anyway. My darling little girl, just turned 8. This has been a big year for her. She truly became the middle child. She now has 1 big brother and 1 little brother and 1 big sister and 1 little sister. The best of both worlds, right? I have to try really hard to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. As my mom says it, she is flying under the radar.

This is my letter to her.

Dear Brandy,

I love you! You have been the best gift! It has been truly amazing to watch you grow up. To watch your creativity start to flow in your unique drawings. To watch you be a wonderful big sister and playmate and teacher to the younger ones. To watch you develop your quick wit and sense of humor to stand up to the older ones.

You are charming, and smart, and talented, and creative, and funny, and caring, and beautiful. Your family, friends, and teachers all just adore you!

I hope you enjoy the adventure of being 8. Of being you!

We love you!

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

Me....Who am I?

Remembering back, I had all kinds of plans of who I was and who I wanted to be. Maybe they were dreams? Were they goals?

Let's take a trip back down memory lane for a second here.

I met my husband Mark when I was a sophomore in high school. He was a senior. On one of our very 1st dates, I asked him what he wanted to do after high school. His answer was "a Paramedic". My answer to the same question was "a pediatric orthopedic surgeon".
3 years later he graduated with his AAS and his Paramedic license. At one point in the many years we have been together, I was talking to his mom about this. She said him being a paramedic surprised her, because he had always talked about being a firefighter. 4 years after we were married, his childhood dream
came true.
To quote Lightning McQueen "Yep, you're living the dream, Mater boy".

OK, now back to me. See, obviously, Mark made his dreams and goals become a reality. But what about me? 20 years later, I no longer have the desire to be a doctor. Had I persued it then, maybe my feelings would be different, but I just don't think I could juggle that demanding of a career and still be the mommy that I try to be.

A few months ago I was telling Mark that I lost myself somewhere. I truly love being Mark's wife and Eric's mom, Ashleigh's mom, Brandy's mom, Johnny's mom, and Tori's mom. But what am I without them. If I get a few minutes alone, what do I do with my time? You're going to love this -I shop for them, or look up things online for them that would interest them. I no longer even know what style of clothes I like or how I want to wear my hair.

I am looking for me. What am I? What do I want to do? What are my new goals for the future? Dreams?

My interests (outside of my children):
winemaking
cooking/baking
reading
gardening
beading
paper craft

This is the start of yet another blog for me. My goal is to find me again. This will be a compliation of my ramblings of married life, motherhood, cooking, and my other interests. This is not set out to be a blog about one particular thing or another, just a way for me to connect to Michelle again.
So if you see Michelle lurking around out there anywere, send her this way. I am looking forward to getting to know her again!!!