Bring on the Bubblewrap

I am having a strange time coming to grips with Johnny's hemophilia diagnosis.  It doesn't change who he is or that he is my little boy forever, but it changes the way I watch him play.

I have 2 boys.  My oldest is 16.  I always had the laid back approach to parenting him.  At the park, I would stand back and let him run and climb and jump and slide.  I would only help him if he needed help.  I didn't hover.  Eric was never really the dare devil type though.  He didn't climbed trees too often.  He didn't stand on the kitchen counters.  He didn't do balance beam acts on the back of the bleachers at the ball field.  He did like to climb up on our tractor shed, but nothing else too dangerous.

Johnny has been all boy since his feet hit the floor.  He climbed everything.  He jumped off of everything.  He hit his head on everything.  And then he would look like this.

Only this one is mild compared to some of the others. 

Of course we never took him to the doctor for any of these.  He's a boy.  He's supposed to be banged up.  He's healthy and active.  He gets a good hit on the head at least once or twice a year.

But now I know, he probably should have gone into the doctor for these.  Only the pediatrician is not the one we would have needed to see.  She would have told me pretty much what we were already thinking.

Here comes the guilt...

All these things that have happened to him in his 5 years of life

• slipping on the bleachers and biting both sides of tongue (it bled for 3 months before it finally healed)
• falling off the bleachers (multiple times)
• getting hit in the head with a ceiling fan
• landing head first on a linoleum floor
• biting through his lower lip

All of these should have landed us in the ER, or at least a trip to the Hemophilia Treatment Center.  Looking back now and knowing this makes me feel a bit sick to my stomach.  I am glad that something really bad didn't happen.

But now that I KNOW, I just want to wrap my little boy in bubble wrap and keep him safe.

He was officially diagnosed with mild hemophilia A, which is a factor 8 (VIII) deficiency, about 3 weeks ago.  Hemophilia is a rare genetic bleeding/clotting disorder.  So that means his blood is slower to clot.  He doesn't bleed more or faster, but he does bleed longer.  Cuts and scrapes are really no biggie, but deep muscle bruises, head injuries, broken bones, etc need to be treated.

The day AFTER he was diagnosed, I found him standing in the window of my van.  The window was down and he had his feet in the window and he was leaning against the top part of the door (it was closed).  Get DOWN child!  You are killing me.  Later that same night, I found him on the next to top rail of the bleachers at the high school football game, leaning over them cheering.  Since then, he has repeatedly climbed over the chain link fence, scaled the picket fence, walked on the tables in the parish hall after church, stands on the back of the toilet, on the kitchen counter tops, on the bathroom counter, he has cut himself with an exacto knife, I found him making lemonade out of real lemons ALONE (including cutting them all up), using the top seat of the bleachers as a balancing beam.  I am sure there are more things that he has done that luckily I have not seen or witnessed. 

Have I mentioned the boy is only 5. 

Is the need for bubblewrap now apparent?

I am really struggling to find the balance of just letting him be and keeping him safe.

I know I didn't start this blog to be a medical journey, but I am going to add another tab on the top to keep all these in one easy to find place.  Ok well that is as soon as I remember how to do it.